The Pants Test
Where do you source the advice you follow?
When I put on my pants, I always try to stand, hold my pants beneath me, and lift one leg at a time to my chest and into the pant’s leg. It’s risky business. If I miss, I could fall on the floor. Somehow, long ago, a mentor suggested this as an important test of core strength. She probably learned it from a course or fitness app. It fits the mold for YouTube advice. But for some mysterious reason, this strange little tidbit stuck with me.
When I started trying this, I couldn’t do it. My back was still healing and lifting a leg high enough to clear the waistband and slide into the leg hole was impossible. But gradually, over time, this changed. My right leg figured it out first. If this was a fitness milestone, I was half way there.
But my beautiful left leg was a slow, uneven learner. Since my injury, it has always felt weaker and I don’t get a lot of feedback from it. It’s the “shy child” of my limbs, hanging out quietly in the background, not likely to speak up or stand out.
So I gently coax it along. On a good day, it behaves. On other days, it teaches me about acceptance and kindness. I used to compare it to my right leg but discovered that it’s much more interesting to just experience it freshly, with no expectations.
Taking both legs together, I’m left with an open question about my fitness. Am I half fit? It seems absurd to even ask.
Instead, deep down, I have a quiet sense of satisfaction. Of “rightness”. On some days, I put my pants on one leg at a time while standing. On other days, I sit down for my left leg, and gently lift it into its sleeve with my hand. This is the rhythm of my body and following it, fitness questions dissolve.
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Threshold Podcast: How To Be With What's Unresolved
Humans like a trajectory. We like to know if we're at the beginning, middle, or end of a project. We like to know where we "stand" in a relationship. But what happens when the map or spreadsheet of your life gets lost or burned or tossed? How can we, as Rilke says, "live the questions"?
Join Emily Conway and myself as we discuss ways of being with what's unresolved.
Monday, May 18th at 11:00 CT
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I really appreciated this piece, Julia, especially as I also wrote about fitness this week through the lens of acceptance. It’s also funny how we all have these little rules that we pick up from who knows where and incorporate them into our lives as if they are law.
What a wise and compassionate way to illustrate the tension between "expert" advice and the expertise gained from listening to what our bodies have to say, Julia! Thank you. Learning to just accept ourselves as we are and then to appreciate our bodies seems to me to be a lifelong practice. It's not simple, but the rewards bring such grounded peace. My body speaks louder the more I don't listen--I'm pretty stubborn and determined to always do things my way! Almost all of the injuries I carry like stories speak of the times I absolutely refused to listen to that insistence voice and hurt myself in the doing. You'd think I'd learn, and I have, but I still forget to honor the voice of my body's experience. Blessings to you and that "shy limb" that is teaching you acceptance and patience. :)