This is great, Julia. I can completely identify with stifling or hiding my creativity, particularly writing. I let my creative manifest through many of the ways you described, but I couldn’t get words on paper. I felt choked. A lot of healing later, I’m writing. And I’m glad you’re doing the same.
Well, that's a long story:). Meditation helped, exercise, friends, therapy, and ultimately ending my relationship with my mom who could not acknowledge her part in some childhood trauma. When that relationship ended, I could write.
Very potent, Emily. I've just ended contact with my mom for the same reason. I've always known that sharing my voice and gifts means I'll pay a price; her jealously, cruelty, or active harm to stifle me. Does that resonate? YESSSS to our Brave Voices lifting off.
I very much understand, Christine. For me, the decision was extremely difficult and a last resort, but one I had to make. I'm glad you were able to do it. Thanks for sharing with me.
I can relate, too, Julia. I have been an artist, writer, nature lover all my life, and kept my work to myself. I liken it to "that's what I did as a kid"- it was me and my creativity with a Supreme Intelligence, and it is Bliss. University really did not help and may have side-tracked me. When one is born with gifts, it sometimes doesn't work to have "instructors" who are frustrated with their own "accomplishments" and pull down others. My fear of critics may have kept me in hiding, so to speak. I was known as an artist-writer in school. Now, as an adult, with many stories of overcoming traumas, obstacles, etc., there are skills I would have liked to have nurtured, too. It hurts and I am creating...thus here I am connecting with you and others.
Exactly, Robin. I feel for you and your twisty journey.
I had two very harsh experiences where instructors tore down my writing. It took me years to recover and similar to you, may be part of why I hid my writing for so long. When we're new and fresh, we need tenderness and not criticism. And also as you ssuggested in your experience, I have always wondered if my writing posed a threat to their own feelings and goals.
I'm so glad you reached out. Let's keep a safe place for all returning-artists to find their way home to their creativity. Let's stay connected.
Thanks, Julia, yes, tenderness is so important. I am writing an essay on a similar topic of the path of creativity, love this and have been thinking the same thing- "let's keep a safe place for all returning artists to find their way home to their creativity." Yes, let's stay connected.
Very Brave, Julia. I like your playful practices to feel our body's inherent juiciness before diving in to creative work.
"I can no longer sit quietly, hiding my impulses to create. Like the fluids of birthing, my words are leaking out in a most embarrassing way. I’m not in charge. I’m living in an animal body."
PS: my hubby is a found-object sculptor who uses many bones in his work. ☠️
I loved this piece, Julia. Thanks for the suggestions of things to try and keep staying in the light! And for a thoughtful take on Hiding (because sometimes it is necessary, sometimes it is where we do some preparation for creating, unaware of it, perhaps, I know that is true for me), do you know the poet David Whyte's essay about the word from his book Consolations? Here is a link:
That's beautiful, Amy. Thank you for sharing that. I agree--there can be wisdom in hiding and emerging when the time is right. Thank you so much for sharing that essay.
This is great, Julia. I can completely identify with stifling or hiding my creativity, particularly writing. I let my creative manifest through many of the ways you described, but I couldn’t get words on paper. I felt choked. A lot of healing later, I’m writing. And I’m glad you’re doing the same.
Did any particular exercise or activity help you? What helped you feel less choked?
Well, that's a long story:). Meditation helped, exercise, friends, therapy, and ultimately ending my relationship with my mom who could not acknowledge her part in some childhood trauma. When that relationship ended, I could write.
Wow. That does sound like a story--bittersweet maybe?? I'm glad you found the love and support you needed to find your words (and creative self).
It is indeed. Very bittersweet and incredibly difficult. But I have a self, agency, and voice now. I'll take it.
❤️
❤️
Very potent, Emily. I've just ended contact with my mom for the same reason. I've always known that sharing my voice and gifts means I'll pay a price; her jealously, cruelty, or active harm to stifle me. Does that resonate? YESSSS to our Brave Voices lifting off.
I very much understand, Christine. For me, the decision was extremely difficult and a last resort, but one I had to make. I'm glad you were able to do it. Thanks for sharing with me.
I can relate, too, Julia. I have been an artist, writer, nature lover all my life, and kept my work to myself. I liken it to "that's what I did as a kid"- it was me and my creativity with a Supreme Intelligence, and it is Bliss. University really did not help and may have side-tracked me. When one is born with gifts, it sometimes doesn't work to have "instructors" who are frustrated with their own "accomplishments" and pull down others. My fear of critics may have kept me in hiding, so to speak. I was known as an artist-writer in school. Now, as an adult, with many stories of overcoming traumas, obstacles, etc., there are skills I would have liked to have nurtured, too. It hurts and I am creating...thus here I am connecting with you and others.
Exactly, Robin. I feel for you and your twisty journey.
I had two very harsh experiences where instructors tore down my writing. It took me years to recover and similar to you, may be part of why I hid my writing for so long. When we're new and fresh, we need tenderness and not criticism. And also as you ssuggested in your experience, I have always wondered if my writing posed a threat to their own feelings and goals.
I'm so glad you reached out. Let's keep a safe place for all returning-artists to find their way home to their creativity. Let's stay connected.
Thanks, Julia, yes, tenderness is so important. I am writing an essay on a similar topic of the path of creativity, love this and have been thinking the same thing- "let's keep a safe place for all returning artists to find their way home to their creativity." Yes, let's stay connected.
FROM HIDING TO PLAYING
Very Brave, Julia. I like your playful practices to feel our body's inherent juiciness before diving in to creative work.
"I can no longer sit quietly, hiding my impulses to create. Like the fluids of birthing, my words are leaking out in a most embarrassing way. I’m not in charge. I’m living in an animal body."
PS: my hubby is a found-object sculptor who uses many bones in his work. ☠️
Another Partner-in-found-object-sculpting!! That's so funny. Not many people are part of this club!
Thank you, Christine. So good to see you here again. :)
Right!? Yet another Substacronicity 💗
LOL. Now we have our own secret language. What's our secret handshake?
Fully EMBODIED 🥰
You are so clever! LOL. I'm actually laughing out loud.
I loved this piece, Julia. Thanks for the suggestions of things to try and keep staying in the light! And for a thoughtful take on Hiding (because sometimes it is necessary, sometimes it is where we do some preparation for creating, unaware of it, perhaps, I know that is true for me), do you know the poet David Whyte's essay about the word from his book Consolations? Here is a link:
https://www.facebook.com/PoetDavidWhyte/posts/hidingis-a-way-of-staying-alive-hiding-is-a-way-of-holding-ourselves-until-we-ar/2868239429868708/
That's beautiful, Amy. Thank you for sharing that. I agree--there can be wisdom in hiding and emerging when the time is right. Thank you so much for sharing that essay.